This is going to be one of those not thought or planned out blog entries. I just need to write and this is where I want to do it. Please don't expect much from this - just my thoughts, being barfed out.
Today was a weird day. It seemed to start out fine, a nice brisk walk. A lovely coffee from my favourite little coffee shop.
Then I hit work and it seems that all ability to plan logically and make sense of the work that I needed to do went out the window. Completely unproductive and in fact, made more work for myself in a number of ways.
I was mentally distant from my work, so I fully escaped and started reminiscing of past days, allowing myself to dwell and sink down into loneliness. Even the copious amounts of chocolate consumed, wouldn't soothe.
It is days like this that I am purely thankful for a community around me of people who care. I have people. People I can call when I just need to talk about my crappy day.
I've made it through. It is better now. I need to be better at reading myself and finding out what I need. Rather than just barely surviving, I need to heal and grow. It takes courage. I didn't feel like I had the courage today. I got grumpy and hid. I am thankful for people who are willing to hear me out and bring me out of hiding. Those people are gifts in my life.
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I love to hear your barfed out thoughts any day! And yes, you have people. Hooray! I am so grateful that you have a wonderful group of people around you.
ReplyDeleteReading your post reminded me of something I recently read by some wise person. I'm hoping to remember to read it the next time I'm having trouble keeping perspective. (it's kind of long for a comment...hope you don't mind):
ReplyDeleteThen a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is greater.”
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily, you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.