.discovering hot air balloons.

Wednesday's are my long days at school.  Today was particularly long given my gift of procrastination, and as a result needing to be at school even earlier.  But I like Wednesday's.  Especially the walk home - given the ridiculous location of my last class on the University of Alberta campus, I walk home a different way than normal.  This is a treat every week.

I know...so far this has nothing to do with hot air balloons...I am getting there.

So today was Wednesday and I got to walk home "the pretty way" (as it has become known as in my mind).  And I was thinking.  Today my thoughts rested on a picture that came to my mind a couple of nights ago of a hot air balloon.  You see, every once and a while (usually in times of needing to make decisions), I am given pictures...(I wish this happened more often...they really do make the message sink in...).  Given the circumstances of chapters being or coming to a close in my life I have come to a point of needing to make some decisions of "what's next."  As I was thinking (well...more like fretting) about these decisions, a picture of a hot air balloon came to mind.  It's not really the hot air balloon that I want to focus on, but those bags of sand (or whatever it is) that rest on the ground (I am assuming they hold the balloon down, while people get in...I've never been in a hot air balloon, I don't know these things...maybe I am just making this up)...either way, picture if you will a hot air balloon, held down by weighted bags of sand.

It is these weighted bags of sand that are bothersome for me; the things that hold me down.  Don't get me wrong, I love the ground, it is safe and comfy-cozy here and really, there is nothing wrong with being on the ground, there is comfort and beauty in a settled life, but for me, where I am at in life, I need to start cutting some of those strings that are tied to those bothersome bags.

There is beauty in living "lightly" - both in an ecologically conscious way and in a way that allows and encourages new opportunities.  Living simply.  It is embarrassing how much stuff I have, and even more humiliating is the concern of "what will I do with all my stuff, if I leave?"  So I am on a mission of becoming lighter.  Both physically and mentally.

Now, the danger in becoming "lighter"  is that I could neglect to build roots, especially in relationships.  This is something that will take discernment and balance.  I need to continue to love community and build relationships.  I also need to stop believing the lie that it is not possible to maintain the relationships that I have now or that it will be impossible to build community elsewhere.

And maybe it's more than just physical, tangible things in those bags.  Maybe one (or more) of the bags are filled with fear, or maybe insecurities.  I want to become lighter.  And I want to deal with these things.

The beauty in being "lighter" is the opportunities that come.  This is my hope.  That I would be courageous.  Creative.  Faithful.  Adventurous.